Tonight I went to go see As Sure as God Made Little Green Apples, which in case you weren't in class last Tuesday, is a stage performance by Revive The Red Tent Productions made up of the stories of local Fairbanks lesbians under the age of thirty. The show includes several movement pieces, mixed with some reading of stories, and monologues/dialogues. It was very interesting to see what is essentially a work in progress of a show, that will, once finished become extremely powerful and well put together.
As the stories were told, I began to think about myself, and my experiences with friends coming out to me, and my own eventual coming out as bisexual. Do I have a story? I'm not particularly certain that I'd say that I do, coming out for me was pretty uneventful for me. The first person I told was one of my two best friends, and she had divulged her own sexuality to me a couple of years earlier, so the whole event was relatively low stress.
I Would say that quite possibly the worst portion of the whole process was that everyone else already knew, and told me so. When I told my mother, all she said was that she had thought that I might be. I have yet to tell my father, and it is questionable whether or not I shall do so anytime soon. I have always been very well supported, and have only been hassled about my sexuality once or twice.
There is a bit more to my story, but that is more recent history and has yet to be fully resolved, and this doesn't seem quite like the time or place for that. (Which is kind of stupid of me, considering this class is sort of an excellent place for it to be discussed, especially considering we were just talking about how personal stories and the like can be tied into learning)
I apologize for how ridiculously late this is.
Saturday
Late Post :(
Last semester I started to have immense pain in my lower region right after a stressful and unjustified few days in jail. My period had just ended before I was incarcerated and not even a week later I started bleeding horribly. My temperature was dropping, I couldn’t stay awake, and my skin color was changing. I tried to just play it off like it was the stress; I was fighting wrongful charges, meeting with various lawyers, court appearances, etc. but I kept on bleeding for two and half weeks. The other symptoms only kept getting worse and the pain was increasing. My partner was finally fed up with my ignoring it and forced me to go to Urgent Care.
I ended up seeing a male doctor who couldn’t have been less of a help. Despite all of my symptoms he persisted to tell me “all women’s bodies are different and your so young, it’s nothing.” Then when he was feeling my lower stomach, I was cringing in pain and my eyes were watering however he kept hurting me. My partner and I were both horribly disgusted by this treatment. Luckily, I insisted on getting an ultrasound. My mother had a full hysterectomy in her later 20’s which worried me and I knew something was wrong. He hesitated, but gave me the recommendation I needed.
It turns out I had ovarian cysts as well as varicose veins in the left side of my uterus.
I am writing about this because of what I read in Leah’s blogpost. There is just NOT the proper education out there about women's health care and as Leah pointed out, certainly not enough research in motion. I had to push to get an ultrasound to find out this news and now am stuck having to undergo surgery or tackle symptoms with birth control. I am seeing an OBGYN that has suggested the surgery due to my moms history and the “strangeness” with my conditions.
But alas, they know nothing and still might not be able to do anything after surgery...
This certainly isn’t the case when a mans solider wont salute...
I ended up seeing a male doctor who couldn’t have been less of a help. Despite all of my symptoms he persisted to tell me “all women’s bodies are different and your so young, it’s nothing.” Then when he was feeling my lower stomach, I was cringing in pain and my eyes were watering however he kept hurting me. My partner and I were both horribly disgusted by this treatment. Luckily, I insisted on getting an ultrasound. My mother had a full hysterectomy in her later 20’s which worried me and I knew something was wrong. He hesitated, but gave me the recommendation I needed.
It turns out I had ovarian cysts as well as varicose veins in the left side of my uterus.
I am writing about this because of what I read in Leah’s blogpost. There is just NOT the proper education out there about women's health care and as Leah pointed out, certainly not enough research in motion. I had to push to get an ultrasound to find out this news and now am stuck having to undergo surgery or tackle symptoms with birth control. I am seeing an OBGYN that has suggested the surgery due to my moms history and the “strangeness” with my conditions.
But alas, they know nothing and still might not be able to do anything after surgery...
This certainly isn’t the case when a mans solider wont salute...
Friday
Bongo Drums Are Not Just For Boys!
A couple evenings ago my
7-year-old daughter was working on an optional assignment for her class: make a
musical instrument. After trying many different prototypes of many
different “instruments”, she was so excited with her final product. She had duck taped together two empty
hot chocolate cans to make bongo drums (one had rice in the bottom which made
an additionally cool sound). She was having a great time playing her
drums up until bedtime. When
I announced that it was time to get ready for bed she began frantically making
another instrument. I asked
her what was going on, reminding her that she had already made an awesome
instrument and that it was time to go to bed. “The
boys in my class will laugh at me if I bring drums,” she said, “I’m gonna make
a harp.”
With
that simple statement I was instantly up in arms, so many flags went up inside
me: How could my daughter care what those stupid boys
think anyway? All these years of my subtle and direct teachings about how
girls don’t have to do girl-y things! What makes bongo drums not girl-y
anyway? She should stand up to these bullyboys and play her drums!
After
a moment of silent shock and outrage I used all my momma/facilitator skills to
move us into a constructive and brief conversation about this bongo drum
injustice and then we brushed our teeth and headed off to sleep.
On a daily basis I come
face-to-face with the clash of mainstream U.S. social constructs with that of
my own values and culture as an Indigenous woman and mother. Yet, while
this conflict within has been raging for most of my life, I continue to be
astounded and agitated by it. I know it is because I am the mother of three
girls. In my own life I have fiercely built within me a place of peace
and strength amidst my sometimes-chaotic battle with dominate culture. However,
whatever peace and wisdom I have found through my own experiences, I know my
daughters have their own work ahead of them.
In class we have talked about the many ways women and girls are under “attack”
in the United States, both directly and subtly. From the violence of rape
or domestic abuse to the disrespectful slanders of drunk men; from the
patronizing halls of legislatures to the everyday “innocent” exchanges in the
grocery store checkout lines, what this society expects of females surrounds us
both straightforwardly and subtly. I believe the subtle spaces are just
as dangerous to our daughters as the direct, for it is in the subtle spaces
that room grows to allow blatant injustices.
In the book Reviving
Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls by Mary Pipher, PH.D., Dr. Pipher
talks about the detrimental effects mainstream culture has had on young
women. In the book the author gives numerous examples of girls from many
different backgrounds and their struggle with the daunting task of finding
balance between contradictory messages of woman-hood. More and more fall
victim under the weight of it all and must then work to survive drug abuse,
eating disorders, depression and violence inflicted upon ourselves and from
others. While this book was first published in 1994 it’s content remains
painfully relevant in 2012. The short article "How To Talk To Little
Girls" by Lisa Bloom (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-bloom/how-to-talk-to-little-gir_b_882510.html?ref=fb&src=sp)
gives a glimpse at some current day statistics. While this reality might
be difficult to deal both these writings offer positive ways to endeavor
forward.
It sometimes terrifies me to imagine all that my daughters
will have to endure in their lives because they are female. I know I
can not shelter them from the world instead I must prepare them to meet it. I only hope that I can give
them the tools to build their own peace amidst the chaos. As their mother I strive
to help them construct their warrior gear - strength of identity and place, of
self-worth and responsibility - so that they might meet their future
adversaries with self sustained power and strength. Whether they are our
daughters, our sisters, our nieces or the little girls yet to be born, I
believe it is our responsibility to find ways in which all can be
supported to play their drums loudly and proudly!
Thursday
She Didn't Want To Do It, So End Of Story.
That word is heavily charged; a sort of trigger-word. It’s been my experience that many people have one scenario for rape-a woman, conscious, being forced by a man. There are many different scenarios and circumstances regarding rape, some people consider these “gray areas” of rape. For example, there are court cases where the accused is not convicted due to various reasons. The victim was perhaps intoxicated and unable to give consent. There are those that personally believe that that does not constitute rape. Perhaps the victim agreed initially but later said no. Some people do not count that as rape. Sometimes it even comes down to what the victim was wearing or how they were behaving, as if that made her consent irrelevant.
I do not presume to speak for anybody regarding their experience, because surely every situation is different and each person is unique. There are people that would argue with me that even though I was too inebriated to give consent, that was my own fault, I set myself up for my particular situation, and I should have prevented it. The Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board recently displayed ads targeting young people to be conscious about their alcohol consumption. One of these ads has a young woman on the bathroom floor with her boyshorts around her ankles, with the text “She didn’t want to do it, but she couldn’t say no”.
A huge backlash erupted from victims and the PLCB was forced to withdraw the particular ad, but only after they realized that it “made them feel victimized all over again”. It’s important to be aware of how often victims are made to feel at fault for rape. Not only is this placing blame on the victim, but the victim’s friends-it is your fault if your friend is raped at a party. It does not matter how a person dresses or acts in regards to rape-the only thing that should matter is clear, legal consent. There certainly are male rape victims, but women are disproportionately victimized for this particular crime. It is just another interesting aspect in the differences that sex or gender makes in your life in that gender kaleidoscope we so often talk about.
http://thinkprogress.org/justice/2011/12/09/386110/pennsylvania-liquor-control-board-pulls-ad-that-blames-women-for-getting-date-raped/?mobile=nc
Women Pay More For Health Insurance Than Men
I couldn't think of anything to write for this blog post, so I posted on Facebook asking my friends for some help. I got a comment telling me to check out the USAFV Facebook page. USAFV stands for Unalaskans Against Sexual Assault and Family Violence. On their page are a bunch of links for feminist topics and other information. I picked this one about health insurance gaps between genders because it seems to relate most to our enduring concepts.
Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Unalaskans-Against-Sexual-Assault-and-Family-Violence-USAFV/10150134411305099
Website: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/19/health/policy/women-still-pay-more-for-health-insurance-data-shows.html?_r=4
Why do insurance companies charge more to women than men? How is this gender gap fair? Women and men should be considered equal in every way yet there is still many gender discrepancies.
In the article I read that a woman with a Blue Cross Blue Shield plan in Chicago pays $375 a month, that is 31% higher than what a man pays. Insurance companies today still incorporate gender and age into rate quotes unless it is against the law.
Why are women considered more at risk then men for insurance companies? Is it all just a sexist thing or are there actual facts making it so insurance companies have reasons to charge women more for the same coverage a man receives.
I believe that this gender gap with insurance companies goes against all fairness and should be leveled out. I understand the reasons insurance companies charge more to people who smoke but just because the person is female doesn't mean that they are less healthy than a man. In my eyes men are more risky for insurance companies to take on. I had no idea there was so much gender gaps still to this day.
Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Unalaskans-Against-Sexual-Assault-and-Family-Violence-USAFV/10150134411305099
Website: http://www.nytimes.com/2012/03/19/health/policy/women-still-pay-more-for-health-insurance-data-shows.html?_r=4
Why do insurance companies charge more to women than men? How is this gender gap fair? Women and men should be considered equal in every way yet there is still many gender discrepancies.
In the article I read that a woman with a Blue Cross Blue Shield plan in Chicago pays $375 a month, that is 31% higher than what a man pays. Insurance companies today still incorporate gender and age into rate quotes unless it is against the law.
Why are women considered more at risk then men for insurance companies? Is it all just a sexist thing or are there actual facts making it so insurance companies have reasons to charge women more for the same coverage a man receives.
I believe that this gender gap with insurance companies goes against all fairness and should be leveled out. I understand the reasons insurance companies charge more to people who smoke but just because the person is female doesn't mean that they are less healthy than a man. In my eyes men are more risky for insurance companies to take on. I had no idea there was so much gender gaps still to this day.
Social norms in Japanese history (Connecting to recently read Memoirs of a Geisha)
I have recently finished reading the book Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden. I began reading the book over Christmas break, having no idea that I would be reading Snow Flower and the Secret Fan for this class. However, reading the two side by side has proved most enjoyable, but also quite sadly disturbing. Although the two books were set in different times of the 20th century, there are social constructs and norms that are brought up and featured prominently in both plots. The majority of these sadly revolve around the lack of free will and choice that these women possessed. What I focused on the most was the connection between the arranged marriages in Snow Flower and the Secret Fan, and the lack of ability to choose "clients" (for lack of a better word) in Memoirs of a Geisha. I feel that these two themes coincide directly each other.
On a personal level, it was troubling to read about these women who had very little choice in their own lives and the goings on within. Although I realize that we still have far to go in women's equality, I feel somewhat blessed to be born into a society and time where I am able to (for the most part) make my own choices and decisions regarding how I wish to carry out my life. I possess freedoms and liberties that these women could never imagine in their arranged marriages and troubling careers of performance. But also, rather than imagining how these women would feel in my place and what great and powerful things they would have the freedom to do in my position, I feel that it is necessary and important to also sit back and think about what we women (and three men :P) would do if we were to be in their positions of social constriction. How would we react to being told who we are to spend the rest of our lives with, and being reminded that we shouldn't bother fighting it because we have no choice in the matter? How would we react to growing up having our feet repeatedly broken so the bones could grow back into a smaller form, appearing more beautiful to the strictly trained eye of society? These questions, and many more wafted through my mind as I read these books side by side, appreciated my tea and social freedoms with every page.
~ EM
On a personal level, it was troubling to read about these women who had very little choice in their own lives and the goings on within. Although I realize that we still have far to go in women's equality, I feel somewhat blessed to be born into a society and time where I am able to (for the most part) make my own choices and decisions regarding how I wish to carry out my life. I possess freedoms and liberties that these women could never imagine in their arranged marriages and troubling careers of performance. But also, rather than imagining how these women would feel in my place and what great and powerful things they would have the freedom to do in my position, I feel that it is necessary and important to also sit back and think about what we women (and three men :P) would do if we were to be in their positions of social constriction. How would we react to being told who we are to spend the rest of our lives with, and being reminded that we shouldn't bother fighting it because we have no choice in the matter? How would we react to growing up having our feet repeatedly broken so the bones could grow back into a smaller form, appearing more beautiful to the strictly trained eye of society? These questions, and many more wafted through my mind as I read these books side by side, appreciated my tea and social freedoms with every page.
~ EM
kamut
Before I disclaim anything else, I thought I’d like to mention that, thanks to Planned Parenthood who e-mail my friend Sam who e-mailed me who e-mailed Dr. Sunwood about an Alaska Legislature hearing concerning use of public funds for access to abortive services, Dr. Sunwood was able to call in to the hearing, for the whole panel and everyone across the state listening to hear, and give them her (and I think our) opinion about the necessary nature of the availability of abortive services to women of all statuses. I am pleased that I can have had a part in the process.
This is anyone’s cue to give me their opinions about abortion and the meaning of life, et cetera. If you comment on my post, I promise to comment on yours.
Now, instead of my regularly scheduled program, I thought I’d dispense a brief treatise on abortion, just to get it out of my system for a while. My disclaimer is that my opinions do not have the slightest weight to them because their author doesn’t have a uterus, ovaries, or personal experience of the cultural stresses associated with being “female”. If what I’m saying makes you want to dig me a nice 6-foot hole to . . . chill in . . . feel free to inform me that my opinions are backwards and hurtful and should stop at the source.
From what I hear, or often decide not to hear for extended periods of time, abortion is fought with arguments in favor of saving precious human lives, often supported with evidence about the appearance of brain waves, heart beats, and other movements of a fetus/zygote at very early stages in the first trimester. I am perhaps stuck in a habit of not researching curios, but to my understanding, there is no internationally recognized definition for life, as it is commonly referred to (my evidence comes from my high school AP Biology class). This brings me into another point of contention with the right-to-life hypothesis: if none of us can unequivocally claim that we are alive, and if it is reasonably easy to regard a developing blastocyst with a fair amount of indifference, why do people care so much? What about rape-zygotes whose mother would have no economic facilities for child-rearing? What about zygotes whose clinically-tested reputations for being stillbirths precede them? What about the fact that there are more than 7 billion humans are already trying to use 1.5 times the biocapacity of this planet? This last bit finally releases my pent-up inability to leave the word “precious” alone, in context of human lives. I don’t mean, of course, that murder is a moral means of human population control: rather, I see not being allowed access to an abortive procedure as being less respectful to the planet than allowing the zygote of a rapist and an impoverished woman to remain unborn.
I think that may actually be all I wanted to say about that. Again, if you have time, let me know if I’ve been offensive. And one more thing, in the entropic style, is the fact/well-stated opinion from one of the articles in the “Women’s Voices, Feminist Visions” textbook that virginity, that icon on our sexually indeterminate and tumultuous culture, similarly has no concrete social definition. Though I was smart enough to forget my book somewhere out of reach, I seem to remember some difficulties with pinning virginity down including whether penetration is a requisite, or if terms are to be taken from pornography where soft-core acts wouldn’t constitute a “breach” of virginity. There is also the revealing fact that “men” are never choked with the standards of virginity as their counterparts are.
Stay safe everyfolks.
Wednesday
(Un)Health(y) Care
A few weeks back our class started a conversation about women's health and it's status in the US today. Obviously there is a lot going on surrounding birth control right now in politics, the media and within our own social circles. About a week ago I saw this photo on a friend's facebook wall:
This image really made me think about what a difficult, and extremely privileged, moment in time American women exist. As women, we have many options for health care, in most places. All the while, the rates of research being done on many health issues pertaining to women is astonishingly low. What would the world be like if we put half the effort into creating erectile dysfunction medication into women's health? It's difficult to say for sure, but there might be less support groups and more research groups for women's health issues.
I mentioned in class my experience with my case of Endometriosis (Endo for short). This disease is one of the most common gynecological diseases in the world, and it effects over 5 million women in the US alone. Something this common shouldn't be something that very few people know about. Endo is a chronic pain disease with no cure. The treatments for Endo are limited, archaic for our time and frequently only mask some of the symptoms while creating others.
Of course, being diagnosed with this disease has made me personally aware of the expansive gender gap that lies in the research being conducted in medical facilities all over our country. Not only do we need to increase the research being done in women's health, we need to change our societal attitude towards women's health. The shame factor needs to be taken out of going to the doctor with problems with our "private parts". Men and women should feel comfortable enough to go to a medical professional and ask for help. I think that this is something that our society is working towards, but I'm worried that politics might make us take a giant step backwards if we don't do something about this ourselves. We need to educate; ourselves, our children and others. Women and men should know more about their bodies and not feel ashamed by them. Education, awareness and research are the only ways that generations down the line a woman will be able to go to her doctor and say, "I've noticed lately that my cervix has been sensitive. Do you think that my endometrial lining might have gotten lost in my fallopian tubes at some point, causing this sensitivity in my cervix and pain around my ovaries?" And the doctor would take her concerns into consideration, instead of speculation.
Here's to the future.
This image really made me think about what a difficult, and extremely privileged, moment in time American women exist. As women, we have many options for health care, in most places. All the while, the rates of research being done on many health issues pertaining to women is astonishingly low. What would the world be like if we put half the effort into creating erectile dysfunction medication into women's health? It's difficult to say for sure, but there might be less support groups and more research groups for women's health issues.
I mentioned in class my experience with my case of Endometriosis (Endo for short). This disease is one of the most common gynecological diseases in the world, and it effects over 5 million women in the US alone. Something this common shouldn't be something that very few people know about. Endo is a chronic pain disease with no cure. The treatments for Endo are limited, archaic for our time and frequently only mask some of the symptoms while creating others.
Of course, being diagnosed with this disease has made me personally aware of the expansive gender gap that lies in the research being conducted in medical facilities all over our country. Not only do we need to increase the research being done in women's health, we need to change our societal attitude towards women's health. The shame factor needs to be taken out of going to the doctor with problems with our "private parts". Men and women should feel comfortable enough to go to a medical professional and ask for help. I think that this is something that our society is working towards, but I'm worried that politics might make us take a giant step backwards if we don't do something about this ourselves. We need to educate; ourselves, our children and others. Women and men should know more about their bodies and not feel ashamed by them. Education, awareness and research are the only ways that generations down the line a woman will be able to go to her doctor and say, "I've noticed lately that my cervix has been sensitive. Do you think that my endometrial lining might have gotten lost in my fallopian tubes at some point, causing this sensitivity in my cervix and pain around my ovaries?" And the doctor would take her concerns into consideration, instead of speculation.
Here's to the future.
Tuesday
INTERNATIONAL WOMEN'S DAY 2012 DECLARATION
from the Grassroots Global Justice Alliance & World March of Women
GGJ is an alliance of many U.S. based social justice organizations, I have worked closely with this alliance in the past and I have great respect for their work. GGJ strives to build a U.S. grassroots base for social change that reverberates globally. They just published their declaration for International Women's Day 2012 and I thought I would share just a few lines, a link to the full declaration is below. -enei (NOT FOR GRADE)
"We stand in solidarity with women and peoples’ in resistance and in
struggle in all territories at war, under military control or the threat
of it, or who are experiencing the negative impacts of foreign military
presence. Despite these extreme situations, we women continue to defend
our territory, our bodies and land from the exploitation by official
and non-official, state and private, armies.
"We denounce the globalized mass media’s collective strategy that seeks to revitalize conservative dogmas and values and to put at risk the achievements and advances of women around the world. Spaces for participation are closed off, protest is criminalized, and the right to make decisions about our own bodies is undermined. Our reproductive self-determination is threatened in those places where we have already achieved it, such as in diverse North American and European (Portugal, Spain, etc.) countries, where abortion is legal, but where this right is undermined in practice by cuts in public budgets for hospitals and pregnancy interruption services. ....
"We stand in solidarity with all women who continue to struggle and confront the police, public services and the unjust justice system, as well as those who struggle against violence and its perpetrators.
"In the face of such situations, we are present in the streets, we create our alternatives, and we put them into practice. Once again, we demonstrate our resistance and our self-defense through our bodies and our territories. We strengthen our struggle for structural changes in our lives and we will continue on the march until we are all free!
"We call for the networking between our movements and the strengthening of alliances with other movements; for it is in this way that we will construct a free world.
Around the World, March 8 2012"
"We denounce the globalized mass media’s collective strategy that seeks to revitalize conservative dogmas and values and to put at risk the achievements and advances of women around the world. Spaces for participation are closed off, protest is criminalized, and the right to make decisions about our own bodies is undermined. Our reproductive self-determination is threatened in those places where we have already achieved it, such as in diverse North American and European (Portugal, Spain, etc.) countries, where abortion is legal, but where this right is undermined in practice by cuts in public budgets for hospitals and pregnancy interruption services. ....
"We stand in solidarity with all women who continue to struggle and confront the police, public services and the unjust justice system, as well as those who struggle against violence and its perpetrators.
"In the face of such situations, we are present in the streets, we create our alternatives, and we put them into practice. Once again, we demonstrate our resistance and our self-defense through our bodies and our territories. We strengthen our struggle for structural changes in our lives and we will continue on the march until we are all free!
"We call for the networking between our movements and the strengthening of alliances with other movements; for it is in this way that we will construct a free world.
Around the World, March 8 2012"
Sunday
Best to be a women in Iceland
NOT FOR GRADE
Next Thursday as we all know is the 101'st International Women's day. The British newspaper The Independent decided to look at the current status of women in the world today. Iceland came number one once again and I think it is the third year in a row. When everything is drawn together Iceland scores the highest points.
Rwanda is the only country where women are in majority on the congress (45/80). It is best to be a mother in Norway and worst in Afghanistan. It is best to be in sports in the US but best in Sweden for those who are into arts.
I couldn't find any sources where The Independent got these results and many of them might be a bit sketchy. But it is a good article to read and it has many interviews with women all over the world.
Heiðar
Source:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/revealed-the-best-and-worst-places-to-be-a-woman-7534794.html
Next Thursday as we all know is the 101'st International Women's day. The British newspaper The Independent decided to look at the current status of women in the world today. Iceland came number one once again and I think it is the third year in a row. When everything is drawn together Iceland scores the highest points.
Rwanda is the only country where women are in majority on the congress (45/80). It is best to be a mother in Norway and worst in Afghanistan. It is best to be in sports in the US but best in Sweden for those who are into arts.
I couldn't find any sources where The Independent got these results and many of them might be a bit sketchy. But it is a good article to read and it has many interviews with women all over the world.
Heiðar
Source:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/politics/revealed-the-best-and-worst-places-to-be-a-woman-7534794.html
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